The {Good}, the {Bad}, and the Ugly
If you missed Part 1 in the Getting to Know Me Series, you might want to start there, otherwise I might scare you off, haha!
Oh, man… where to start.
I guess I will share my expectations for this post before I begin.
This isn’t meant to tear me down, or tell you how “bad” of a person I am,
but rather the things I want to work on as a person…
how to be a better wife, mother, and all around woman.
So there it is… that is how I look pretty much every day.
Who really curls their hair and puts on my make up every.single.day?
I know you ladies are out there… I’m a little jealous I have to say,
I wish I had that desire, I’d probably feel better about myself!
BUT I don’t!
I have never really had that desire…
For a long time now, I have always had the “I don’t care what people think of me”
I do deep down, but I would never let you know that!
I never wear make up (unless I’m going somewhere like church, or on a date)
I hardly ever get dressed up, I’m a jeans and t shirt kinda person
I have a serious fear of going to SNAP (even though I bought my ticket) – I am not “fashionable” and even though all these other bloggers probably don’t look like their pictures on a daily basis, I feel like they still know how to dress up and be up to date… sometimes I feel like I don’t even know how to pretend to be “in style”
So main point here… I am not proud of the way I look… Not so much me personally, I’m happy with what God gave me, but more so how I choose not to ever dress up and feel good about myself. I would wear my pajamas every day if that was acceptable attire at the grocery store.
Ok, fine… I’m lying. I have worn my pajamas to the grocery store ; )
I feel like the worst mother ever on quite a regular basis!
I think my kids are the most beautiful, adorable little faces…
to be honest I thought I could find a picture of them throwing a fit, but who knew… mothers don’t really run to the camera when their kids are screaming on the floor… go figure! So here is a picture from one of those moments where I felt like I was going to pull my hair out!
I know…it’s not really that bad you’re thinking. But all I wanted was a cute picture at the pumpkin patch with their pumpkins….
Addison was screaming because she wanted me to hold her, Aubrey was trying to make Addison cry more than she already was….
and I felt like Clark Griswold just trying to have a happy moment here!
I am an extremely impatient person.. I don’t understand why my kids don’t ever seem to listen.
I know they do and that they really are good kids…. but I cannot stand it when they deliberately do the opposite that I say.
I am working on this. I want to be one of those calm mothers and quietly whispers to their kid that their behavior is unacceptable after they have done the same thing OVER AND OVER AGAIN… you know the ones you look at and think
“how do they keep it together like that”
Don’t get me wrong… I think I’m a pretty decent mother, I just wish I could be a
BETTER mom for my kids. I want them to have the best of the best and sometimes I feel like they deserve more than me.
Am I the only one here?
So for parenting, I hope to become more patient, and be the mom I know my kids deserve!
Ok, let’s talk about being a wife…you know how your parents tell you that marriage is hard work?
And you are thinking, “We will live on LOVE” (in this dreamy voice)
Well… newsflash, your parents were RIGHT (for once!! haha… just kidding)
Marriage is extremely hard. When your husband is at work all day, you’ve been taking care of the kids, throw in financial issues, stress from life, job stress, kid stress, cooking dinner… by the time the kids are in bed you just want to sit on the couch and stare at a spot on the wall until your brain shuts off and you eventually fall asleep – only to start it all over again.
Life is HARD! It really is!
I want to be a better wife to my husband. I think sometimes I am hard on him when he comes home.
We are both tired from the day and there are some days I just want to run and hide when he gets home.
I think sometimes we all imagine the Leave it to Beaver life where everything just works out perfectly.
We spend our whole life trying to obtain some mental image we have and don’t enjoy the moments!
I want to enjoy the moments more.
Example from this morning….
My husband comes in and says… I spilled coffee grinds all over the floor. Do you want me to vaccuum it up or wait until the kids are awake.
Umm… wait until the kids are awake!
He had to leave early this morning and I was soooo not ready to get out of bed and start the madness, lol.
I wasn’t upset at all because, he was after all, making me coffee : )
BUT I did say that I would clean it up when I got out of bed because I didn’t want the kids to wake up….
While I was cleaning it up, I should have been laughing… I want to laugh at the silly little things we do.
My husband spilled an entire coffee filter full of coffee grinds on the floor because he was trying to make me coffee….
If I were watching this on a movie I would have busted out laughing… why do we not do this with our own lives?
I love my husband so much, and I love laughing!
I want to stop stressing about all the silly little things and start laughing at them.
We are living our “movie”
Sometimes you laugh, sometimes you cry….
but I want to enjoy all the moments good or bad, I don’t want to stress.
I stress too much!
So if I could tell myself what I need to change here it is:
Slow down, enjoy every moment with your children
Don’t raise your voice
Stop Stressing
Enjoy yourself, Ashley
Take the good out of everything
Smile every chance you get
Always LAUGH
…. so here is a little printable for you (its a 5×7)
So there is the the things about me I continue to work on daily!
Next week you get to see the ugly….
as in life behind the craft blog. What my house really looks like and how I deal with it
I know… it’s scary!
Nicole says
Love this post! I’m with ya on the PJ’s. Once I had a kiddo it seemed pointless to to get all gussied up just to get covered in snot (or worse).
Christy says
I can relate to every.single.thing. We ALL need to learn all of these things.
Angela @ The Not So Functional Housewife says
I love how you’re being so honest. I’m the same way. I rarely wear makeup and love me some jeans and t-shirts! Hair=ponytail. I totally get jealous of all the women bloggers with their beautiful pictures!
I’m also the same way with my husband and kids. It’s a work in progress and marriage is HARD work!
I commend you for going to SNAP even though you’re afraid. I won’t even attempt it at this point. :)
Thanks for sharing more about you!
Suzanne says
I swear that I’ve had those same identical thoughts and the same conversation with my girlfriends about my twins and husband. I love my family. I want to do better. I want to laugh more. I really appreciate all that I have and thank the Above for all my blessings. You’re conversation on your blog makes me feel better. Thanks. I look forward to the ugly.
Crystal says
Thanks for being so honest!! I can totally relate….jean shorts (its hot in Texas), t-shirt, no make-up, etc.. Now that my girls are older (Freshman in college & sophomore in high school), all the things you worry about when they are young, all disappear. They do become everything you imagined and more (good things). I always thought that I wasn’t the best mom, but it turns out that I was exactly what my kids needed. My girls tell me know that I am the best Mom and they wouldn’t change a thing in their childhood. I just want to encourage Moms out there that we can’t be Mrs. Cleaver, but we are the best at being ourselves which is what God created us to be!
Janette says
Great series & i go to my share of places in my pj’s and as a mom of young people, I think it’s totally acceptable. In fact, encouraged!
Ashley says
Yes, totally agreed! I’m always in my sweat pants! I barely have time to shower so it’s only natural! lol
Thanks so much for sharing your story and I’m sorry if I’m laughing it’s only because I’m probably one of your older readers (although very young at heart), my kids are grown and I’ve gone through it… Oh the stories I could bore you with but I won’t! A little extra hug and lots of love will get you through this and when your kids are grown all they will remember is how much you loved them and you cooked them dinner.
PS: You should seriously cut yourself some slack you keep an awesome blog and for that you can stay in you PJ’s all day long if you want: )!
haha, thanks Julie! I hope they remember how much I cooked for them ; )
Ash, I love you honesty too. I would think we were seperated at birth. I moved to FL over six years ago with my two daughters who are now 15 and 17. We have no family here and I still have yet to meet a friend like my NY friends. It saddens me. I work all the time and my fiancee does too, he’s a correctional officer with only his grandparents here. So still…no family. I miss being able to drop my girl’s off with our family…we all need time to ourselves but also miss them. 17 hours away, not like we can “pop” in anymore ! I live in my jammies as much as possible too ! I’m surprised my sweetie says nothing as he’s always dressed and ready to go. I despise morning, ugh ! I know when I go to bed that I have to wake up in the morning…nooo, lol !! My bed is too comfy. I don’t want to work, cook, do laundry, clean, etc. I’d love to just have a snuggle day too ! I also ask him if he can stay home but that’s alway’s a no-go ! As far as my girl’s…patience IS a virtue. I want to enjoy every moment I can with them and its so hard at times as we are so busy and forget to stop and “enjoy” the moment. I also want to be a better mom. I feel lost at times as a parent and try to balance my duties and being a mom. Its really hard. But I’ll never give up trying ! And I’ll alway’s be “working” on having patience. Ultimately I want them to know in their heart that they will alway’s be my babies and my priority. They are my life and the reason I never give up or give in, even on the hardest days. As far as make up & fashion, lol. You and I are in the same boat and I’m happy to know its not just me !! I’m comfortable….and tired. I do think if I made more of an effort I would feel better all around. That in itself would benefit my family. If I can’t take care of me then I can’t take care of you….
I really thank you for sharing about you. Yes I do think you look fab everyday & your life is full of insane happiness.all.the.time. But in reality we are human and fabulosity is saved for Hollywood ! We are normal and recognize what we want to change and setting goals is certainly a start ! I look forward to reading next week’s blog ! Take care Ashley and have a good night. XX Shannon.
Thanks so much for sharing Shannon! I feel exactly the same way about my kids! It’s amazing how you can be so stressed about your kids but love it so much!! It is so hard for me to be patient, and I too will be working on that for the rest of my life, lol! I am really trying to live moment to moment and let tomorrow worry about itself, so hard as a woman though! : ) Thanks again for stopping by and sharing that with me. Always nice to know you aren’t alone in your thoughts!
It’s good to know that someone else has the same issues I do! I care how I look but don’t feel like I have the time or energy to do anything about it so I go makeup free, hair in pony, and jeans/tee 95% of the time. I also love my husband to pieces but by the time he gets home I just want to rest and have some peace. I forget that spending time…quality time with him is so important. And your aren’t the only one who feels like they are flunking at being a great mom! I feel like I’m at the end of my fuse ALL the time. I really need to work on being more patient and striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman!
Thanks for sharing that Jessica! I am definitely always at the end of my fuse. Sometimes I feel like I just need a whole day’s break. But from talking to women with older children, we are completely normal, so I guess that is a little reassuring, lol! Thanks so much for stopping by!
Ohmygoodness, you just described me!
I’ve been loving your getting to know you series! (Although I think I’ve read them out of order). I can relate to almost everything you’re writing about. Your kids remind me so much of mine too… I think they’re about the same age… Although my little girl is the one who would be trying to make her big brother cry, haha. She is definitely my little handful. I get annoyed with my husband too when he does me favors… like today he watched the kids for me for the whole morning. I should have been glad, but I was mostly just annoyed because of how incredibly messy it was when I came downstairs. I don’t think those perfect people exist… and the ones who try too hard to hold it all together all the time are either insanely boring or very tightly wound. Just enjoy life and know that you’re obviously a wonderful wife and mother and you’re loved by your family very much. I’m sure they think you’re doing a fantastic job. And hold onto and cherish that part of you that doesn’t care what other people think!
Thanks Rachel! It really makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one! I definitely don’t want to be tightly wound. I just wish my house would clean itself, lol! OH well.. I guess I’ll have plenty of time for that when they don’t want to hang around me anymore! Thanks for reading my nonsense ; )